If only love were true
by JosieEvans44
Summary: A different view on Lily's life and how she copes with making friends and searching for her real father. "Love. It’s a word I’ve always hated. I don’t believe in love, never have, and never will."
1. Default Chapter

**If only love were true...**

By Josie E.

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**Prologue:**

Love. It's a word I've always hated. It's too commercialised, and it doesn't exist. I don't believe in love, never have, and never will. Maybe it's the fact that I've never seen true love, or perhaps it's because I've never experienced it first hand.

When I was younger, living with my parents, I would usually sit on my bed, reading, willing with all my might to drown out their yelling. Every night, after super, they would go into the living room and yell about one thing or an other; they were constantly at each other's throats. Petunia, my older sister, at the time was sixteen, a teenager; she would sometimes come to play with me, keep me occupied and change my thoughts. Maybe even drown out my parents wailing. Of course being a teenager meant that she wasn't at home often, not that I blame her. If I had friends, I probably would have been spending all of my time over at their house.

I had gotten used to inventing places, things and people to keep me occupied, I had a great imagination. Life at school wasn't any better, if you hadn't noticed. I didn't have many friends, having changed school three times, I had stopped bothering. The kids all thought I was weird and I often heard them say in whispered tones, 'Here comes Lily, the freak. Careful, she might change you into a frog.' I had once laughed at these ridiculous words. I didn't mind being alienated by my peers, it gave me more time to read; left with only my books, I took art as an outlet to everything that surrounded me. I wasn't very good, and easily got frustrated; but my books were always there for me, and I took condolence in their pages, losing myself among the words.

I used to ask myself the same question, day after day, month after month, year after year; if my parents didn't love each other, why had they gotten married in the first place?

One day, tiered of asking myself these questions, I asked the only person who really knew, my mother. But the only thing she told me was: "When your older."

After that, I asked her once every day, but she always answered the same thing: "When your older."

Finally, a couple of years back, when I had come home in tears, my mother caressed me (one of the only times I ever remember her doing so) and asked what had happened. I told her about a boy in my class that I liked and how he had turned me down by saying that I was ugly. For some strange reason, my mother had thought the time was right.

She had explained to me that they had made love to each other, before they were married. That was and still is, a great sin. She had become pregnant of Petunia and had to get married before suspicions arose.

I was eleven when she had told me all this, a very young age, but I had always been wise beyond my years (but then again, I had been forced to grow up faster than other children) and my life couldn't get any worst, or so I thought.

She made matters more complicated by explaining to me that the man I had taken to be my father for eleven years, wasn't my maternal father.

It explained a lot, my red hair, my Irish temper, but I still didn't want to believe it because it also explained an other thing, one which I had always wanted to disregard. I had always thought that I was different from my family, an outsider, but I'm not talking about physical appearance, I'm talking about internal.

For years, strange events had been occurring in my life, especially at times when I got angry. See, it turns out that my father, my real father, was a wizard.

I know, your probably thinking I'm looking for attention or that I'm bonkers, but it's the truth. I didn't believe it at first myself either, until I received a strange letter.

It had not only been the way I had come by it that was strange, but mostly what was inside. It had come through the window, during a very uneventful super, tied to an owl's leg. I still remember the temperature, it had been humid and my parents had been arguing about it. We had fans all over the house, using lots more electricity than was needed. My sister Petunia had been chatting excitedly to anyone who would listen about a boy she had finally been able to get a date with. I think he went by the name of Vernon.

As I opened the letter and read it, I was shocked to discover that what my mother had said to be true.

I had been accepted into a very prestigious wizarding school, the finest in Briton; Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

I was ecstatic. I would be leaving my wretched home, I would be making something of myself and above all else I would be learning magic. I would be changing schools, perhaps even make friends.

I decided right there and then, that I would try my hardest to make friends, even if it meant lying. Besides, I was a born liar or actress as my mother used to say. That place would become my home for the next seven years, and I was determined not to spend them alone.

Packing up my few belongings, which included my books, I walked out my front door for what would be one of the last times in my life.

Leaving behind everything I knew, everything I had grew up with: my 'father' and my mother who as hard as she tried had never been ready nor made to raise children (faith works in strange ways sometimes) and my sister, the only closest thing to a person that loved and cared for me.

I never looked back and if the circumstances had been different, I don't think I would have either.

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**The end of Prologue**

A/N: well, that's the first chapter to hopefully a long chaptered story. I know I shouldn't start an other fic. when I've still got Raspberry Sugar Quills (which is really starting to amount to something), Dimension disrupt and A united friendship on the go, but I couldn't help it. It's been in my notebook for a while now and I have all these ideas for it. I even have these other stories I'm starting on, I love new stories lol! And a couple of one shots, but I still have to type them. Anyhow, I hope you all liked it, it will get better (I hope). So review! Review! (Flammers aren't accepted!)

P.S: no this isn't a story that goes from 1st year to 7th. The first chapter will be in their first year and then I think I'll skip to their fifth.

Arrivederci,

Josie


	2. An Unforgettable Meeting

**If only love were true...**

By Josie E.

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**Chapter One: **

Looking up at the huge scarlet train, I felt my spirits lighten considerably. The ride over hadn't been an enjoyable one and I was still trying to forget it; not that it was so hard to do, there was too much to see and I knew that my neck would latter be sore from the constant swivelling as I tired to take in everything at once. I found myself on the platform 9 and 3/4 in a very disarranged state; my trolley was standing loyally next to me, while I looked up at the large barrier separating platforms nine and ten. Platform 9 and 3/4 was nowhere to be found.

I kept trying to hold the urge to vomit all over my new school uniform, as ugly thoughts of this being a horrible cruel joke played by one of my despicable classmates, ran through my head.

I was about to ask one of the friendly looking porters for help, when something hard ran into me, throwing me off balance, which only lead to me landing hard on my butt, with the unknown heavy object on top of me, squeezing any form of oxygen out of my lungs.

Recognising the form to be that of a human, I tried as politely as can be done stuck under a heavy body, if they could get off of me. "Your...crushing...all of the...air...out of...me!" I gasped.

Finally free of my captor, I took a good look at the face in front of me, before my old Irish temper caught up to me and I started yelling at the poor unsuspecting boy.

"I'm really sorry, I tripped. I didn't mean to hurt you." he answered shyly, with less gusto than I would have imagined from such a tall, straight standing boy.

"I'm not hurt! But you could have in..." I said, and stopped in mid sentence. That was the first time I took notice of my surroundings. Above me, on a large barrier quite like the one I had been looking at before, hung a plaque with the words: Platform 9 3/4. People were running to and fro, occupied on their matters at hand, while I stood there gapping like an idiot.

"How...how..." I stammered, "did I get here?"

"Um...are you muggle born?" the tall boy asked. He had what seemed to be black hair, but which, on closer inspection, turned out to be dark brown. He had it cut in the latest fashion, longish at the back with shorter almost nonexistent bangs.

"What? What are you freakin' talking about!" I asked, impoliteness winning over,

"Muggle born? Non-magical..."

"Oh, no, no, I'm definitely magical, I got this letter from Hogwarts and..."

"That's very nice and all, but we better get on the train fast before it leaves. Trust me the Hogwarts Express will wait for no one." he said, grabbing me by the elbow and navigating me through the crowd with both our trolleys, as if I were a mere child.

The crowd magically separated before us and I couldn't help but noticed the frightened faces of the people surrounding us.

Did I not belong? Was something horribly wrong with me? Had my blouse flown up to my chest when I had been thrown to the ground? Whatever it was, I really didn't like the expressions on the many faces of the parents and what were most likely fellow peers, who had been saying their final goodbyes to family. I couldn't surpress the annoying urge to have my parents standing protectively before me, caring and wishing me a good semester, even if the man doing so wasn't my paternal father. Instead, I was being lead to the unknown by a strange boy whose grip on my elbow tightened as he no doubt also noticed the alarmed faces and automatically separating crowd.

We climbed the steps of the large train and into an empty compartment, the boy still keeping his firm grip on my elbow. He finally let go, as he placed our bags on the racks over our seats and cautiously stuck his head out into the hallway, looking both ways, before closing and locking the door behind me. Even more curious was the way he muttered something under his breath holding his wand at arm's length, which he pointed at the window.

I don't know why, but while I really should have been panicking and thinking of murder or something of the kind, I felt immense security around this strange unknown boy.

He hadn't spoken a word since our walk up to the train. The sound of screeching metal reached our ears as the train started to take it's leave.

One of the large suitcases hanging dangerously above the boy, landed hard on his head as the large train started to pick up speed.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing his sore scalp, "Stupid family curse, damn them all to hell!"

This exclamation stupefied me and made me even more cautious of the tall boy before me, who with all the raucous, managed to keep his cool, as he used his wand to clean up the mess.

"Um, I'm Lillian Evans." I said after an other short pause, not knowing wether I should speak or run the other way just as fast as everything had happened.

He snorted rather loudly, which made him sound more like a pig than anything else, and managed to brake his neutral composed face. "What kind of a name is that?" he asked, "Well, if you're gonna hang out with me, I'll have to give you a cooler name..."

"Who said I wanted to hang out with you?" I asked, standing up in my temper, enraged at the laughter directed at my name which came from such an unorthodox boy. "I don't even know you, what makes you think I even want to be here!" I yelled.

"Fine, then leave!" he yelled, crimson red rising to his cheeks as he stood. I could tell I had angered him, hurt him even. Could it be that this boy was much like myself, incapable of making friends because of a freakish nature? I didn't wish to bestow my feelings onto an other and so I sat down quite unceremoniously, practically trowing myself onto the inviting velvet covered seat, were I sat momentarily seething.

"I'm sorry." I said, trying to be the bigger man of the situation, "But why don't we start by you at least telling me who you are. I told you who I am, it's only fare you return the service."

"Right..." he said uncertainly, sitting down with a flourish. "But you have to promise me you won't judge me by my name."

"I don't judge anyone before I get to know them, or at least I try not to." I said blushing at the last part.

"Hum. Sirius Black, pleased to make your acquaintance." he said handing out his hand like a corporal 40 year old man, rather than the 11 year old boy he really was. I was surprised to say to say the least. I had never meet any one who informed me in such an intellectual high mannered way besides my father's coworker one Christmas holiday.

"Serious? And you laughed at my name?" I said, incapable of keeping in a snort of my own.

"Not serious, Si-ri-us," he said, pronouncing each syllable like you would do with a kid, "Like the star." he added as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. He definitely seemed to relax when he realised I was laughing at his name. His behaviour just kept getting stranger by the second and I was beginning to wonder if I should really trust this arcane boy. Besides, what had he been afraid of?

"Oh, right..." I said rather lamely as I had never been one for astrology and wouldn't have known Saturn from the milky way.

"My parents have a strange love for peculiar names. I have a brother named Regulus." he continued seeming to feel more comfortable with his surroundings even though I saw his eyes occasionally dart for the door.

It was almost as if he expected a vampire to burst through and suck his blood before he had a chance to blink, or something equally horrifying.

"So, you're muggle born huh? I've never meet someone from the other world. How is it? How can you stand not doing every day things without help from magic? I hear you muggles have a box that displays moving pictures that tell stories, is any of that true?" he asked, barely taking a breath between question.

"More like an idiot box." I answered. He had such a comically confused faced that I decided to answer his questions. "First off, what is this muggle thing you keep obsessing about?"

"Muggles, are non-magical people." he simply answered, trying to look patient while waiting for his own questions to be answered. He seemed simply ready to burst at the thought of waiting a few more minutes for his questions to be answered.

"Right-o. Well then, I didn't even know this place existed or of an other way of life. Besides we, muggles, as you call us, use something called electricity for everyday appliances and to help better our lives. As for the moving pictures, it's called a televison and it's more like an electronic device which enables you to view current events or plays. You know what a play is, right?"

"Of course!" he said indigently, "I've seen _A giant Troll_ by Johannes Macabre. Very sadistic play writer."

"You don't say."

"I've also seen a dozen more or so, which were all boring as hell. You can imagine I didn't pay a speck of attention to any of them after the first ten minutes. My mum made me go see them. Said it would make me cultured."

Lily listened attentively as Sirius recounted the pranks he had pulled on the stuffy middle aged man who seemed to swamp the theatre with young beautiful mistresses. She laughed in all the right places and even encouraged him to continue when he seemed to think something was not worth recounting.

The more she listened to him, the more she began to like the strange boy who had led her to the giant scarlet train. Soon, hours flew by like minutes and next thing they knew, Lily and Sirius were both taking their first breathtaking look at Hogwarts and their home for the next few years.

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End Chapter One

A/N: Finally chapter One! (Or two, depends how you look at it) I know it took a while, but I have been so distracted and busy, well anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Oh and the next chapter to Raspberry Sugar Quills, I know said would be out sometime this week but problem is I have two paintings and five drawings to give in which will be a little late due to lack of time for my art class. I should be working on them now as one is for tomorrow with no exception! AHHHH!

Thanks to:

Celina Black: Hey, thanks for reviewing, sorry for the long wait. Thanks for the complement. That's what I was going for at the time. Yes, all shall be revealled soon about the whole Lily/Sirius thing! Hope you liked this chapter!

QuieroTuAmor: Thanks, and the whole wizard father idea just popped unto the page when I was typing. Never really thought about it much until you mentioned it, it just seemed to click and make sense in my head that one parent should be a wizard. Also makes for a good plot! Evil grin So sorry I've kept you waiting for the next chapter. Oh and like mentioned about a new R.S.Q chapter later this week, yah!

SilentConfession: Thanks a lot, hope you keep with the story!

Pennies from Heaven: Well, life isn't all sun shine and rainbows, but I promise there will be happiness for Lily! Thanks for reviewing!

unilover366: Thanks!

AnimalsaremyLIFE: Are you a vet? Lol, animals rock man! As to the story thanks, glade you liked it! Enjoy this chapter!  


Well got to go work on that damned painting!

Peace out!

Josie


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